Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Could Motherhood be Making Me Crazy?

The Bump sent me an email asking this today. In short, I'm sure the answer is yes. I have a feeling that Zac would tell you I was crazy long before Motherhood. If we're referring only to my sleep-deprivation, supersonic hearing, and lack of adult conversation-related insanity, then I would attribute all those things to Motherhood. What are the craziest things I've done since having Hannah?

I have a recurring dream when she starts crying that I'm already holding her. Since I think she's in the room with me, I desperately search in the dark for her until I snap "into it" and go to her room to calm her. I'm pretty sure that I've even slept with my arms in the air (thinking that I'm cradling her) because they're often numb when I wake up.

I've read a ton of advice books and googled even more things than I can count. I've battled (and conquered!) a dryer that refused to start in the daytime in order to use cloth diapers. I even agreed that Zac could go away for a guy's weekend when Hannah was only 3 months old. I spent the entire time both regretting and being grateful for that decision.

The biggest thing that's making me crazy is spending time with Hannah. Just when I think I have everything figured out, she throws me for a total loop. For example, she's been getting better at falling asleep for naps over the past few weeks. Recently, she really fell into a predictable pattern of exactly when she would fall asleep in my arms. Then yesterday as we were going through the whole process, I got to the part when she would generally relax into dreamland and her eyes popped open and she started smiling and talking to me! Of course, I couldn't be mad that I would have to start all over and spend another 20 minutes coaxing her to sleep. I just tried not to laugh, responded to her that it was "night night" and went back to relaxation mode. What else can you do with someone so crazy cute?

1 comment:

  1. Oh Google... what did moms before the Internet do without it?

    All mamas go a little crazy. Welcome to motherhood!